Rich Hall – Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala 2018

Rich Hall – Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala 2018

Wow the applause didn’t even last as I
got to the mic what in the hell that if this was a weekend you’d be on your
feet what is going on welcome ladies and gentlemen thanks for having me here at
the this is my 97th appearance at the gala and oh so many times I’ve come out it’s been all
me me me me me look at me and tonight I don’t know perhaps we
should celebrate a young love true romance somebody anyone anybody here in
love on the front row most of you can’t even bother to applaud until I get to
the fucking mic you don’t have a lot of enthusiasm for romance anybody anybody willing to admit their in love? Jasper it’s
fantastic named Jasper yeah it’s my favourite mineral Jasper and whats your sweethearts name Katie, Haydey let’s go with Haley Jasper and Haley like the morning radio
team that’s the Jasper in Haley’s show it’s the quiet storm how long you been
married Jasper any idea you’re not married
do you know this woman are you a hostage ma’am how long you been going out with
Jasper Haley two years how much more this woman’s time do you intend to waste
Jasper I’m trying to imagine some kind feel good finish to the show tonight
something that would send this audience home on a wave of elation if a man would
have come to his senses after two years and realize the woman he’s with as a
woman he should be with plenty of kneeling room right there in the aisle
I’m just saying no pressure Jasper no pressure whatsoever my friend
does you ever sing to you Haley does he ever serenade you sometimes good this song needs I need a backup singer
in this song it’s that simple and you’re the man I can already tell let me just
hear you mic technique just get that close to your mouth hey my name is
Jasper my name is Jasper this is the lovely Haley this is the lovely Haley
or Katie which is it Katie or Haley? Lets run with Katie shall we? Is it Katie or Haley? Katie I’m gonna walk you through this it’s
very simple Jasper these are your words so this is all you have to sing fur on a stick fur on
a stick fur on a stick fur on a stick fur on a stick there you go it’s fur
on a stick yeah sounds like you’re singing foreigners stink its fur on a
stick fur on a stick fur on a stick yes holy shit
ladies and gentlemen its like a Velvet fog fur on a stick you got it right all right that’s it that’s all I have to do when I queue you
you come in all right you ready okay this song is called an adopted
racing greyhound comes to the slow realization he’s been duped his entire
life looking back on my career I had a good
run every summer and in every race I won sometimes by margin sometimes by a nose but i never caught that rabbit guess that’s how it goes
but I came so close they can do a dogs head in put him off his chow and I wish i knew the things back then that I know now, I was never meant to catch it. just predator to prey for the weakest and the smallest creature should
always get away and i know that now Its the simple truth I can retire a wise and old greyhound grow long in the tooth and i’m at peace with myself I’m at peace with myself Fur on a stick fur on a stick fur on a stick a fur on a stick whats he singing what are you saying?
fur on a stick what fur a stick fur on a stick, what the hell is wrong
with humans! What is wrong with men Jasper who would do that to supposedly their best friend? and i I have been hung out, strung out, turned out and burned out gone to bed and over bred Thinking i could catch that rabbit if could get one step ahead and you got the nerve to tell me Jasper It was all a trick And the whole time i’ve been chasing chasing chasing fur on a stick Sing it you sexy Bastard! fur on a stick Sing it like you’ve never sung it before Fur on a stick, sing it! Fur on a stick Fur on a stick Fur on a stick! ok lets bring it down I want you to turn to Katie I want you to I want you to say Katie it’s not fucking hall and oates say Katie.
Katie yeah you got to give it to me you got to give it to me Hmmm Katie you’re my favourite habit, you’re my favourite habit
I’m the dog and you own the rabbit through thin
thick Oh I missed that, through thin and thick. through thick and thin You will always be mine fur a stick You fucking nailed it come on lets walk it home fur on a stick fur on a stick fur on a stick fur on a stick fur on a stick fur on stick fur on a stick Big finish! Fur on a stick I’ve been Jasper ladies and gentlemen and Jaspers new backing man Thank you very much, enjoy the festival goodnight


  1. LJY08 says:

    l love you Rich! You're always awesome and I so look forward to you coming out to Australia every year xxx ooo

  2. kathleen ferguson says:

    "what the hell is wrong with humans?' yeah! this is my 2 skinny hounds new favourite song…

  3. QP S says:

    I swear they kept saying foreigner's dick

  4. Hedz B says:

    he reminds me of the bump-stock shooter, evil genius

  5. Justin S says:

    "Fur on a stick."

  6. ______I Love you says:

    You sir are amazing. I thank you for the most interesting few minutes I've had in a while.

  7. Street Trash says:

    Went to the Evesham UK show last night & it was a pretty poor gig.
    Sorry if you can’t handle the truth.
    I like Rich a lot, problem is he used 90% the same material that he used when I saw him 2 & 5 years ago.
    He’s basically doing the same old shit just givin the show a different name.
    His brains becoming soft.
    Brexit, Trump, what do ya do for a living & wife jokes.
    I saw Rich in 1996 & he was shit hot funny. Fast, wicked & full of vinegar.
    He’s married now with children.
    Tamed. Inoffensive entertainment for the average.

  8. SixSixSix says:

    I saw this on tele and was rolling with laughter. So good.

  9. Jojo Quik says:

    Rich Hall is a living legend.

  10. Beatrice Blake says:

    Never sit in the front row of a comedy gig……

  11. peter lewis says:

    Im not a great fan of American comedy/sit comms but this man is one class act,

  12. Meir Wise says:

    He's the funniest American, but then he married a Brit and lives in Britain.

  13. TheDkjayjay says:

    Rich is the rare mix of intelligence and pure feel-good…
    When i see this… hell yes i'm happy…

  14. Jeroen Tel says:

    7:47 pause… brilliant! Nailed it!

  15. catmandont100 says:

    ….Fur…on….his…..WHAT ?

  16. Daniel Knox says:

    7.47 minutes that’s is priceless

  17. Jeremy Cline says:

    Rich is more popular in Britain and Australia than in America nowadays. Used to love him on HBO back in the 80's.

  18. Al Smith says:

    what a treat! rich hall!

  19. John Rah says:

    When he is on it … kills me.

  20. zerosonico says:

    7:45 Gold.

  21. danielle hernandez says:

    Rich is fantastic! Pure genius

  22. DigitalHarmony says:

    Are we just not going to talk about how good looking all the people in the first row are?

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